leahk0615

Child free zone

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 22:32:31 GMT

Ok, I think about 2,033,157 people have asked me (probably over the last 5 years or so) when I'm going to have kids. Pure strangers, too. Even worse, a couple have patted my stomach and asked me when I'm expecting...insult to injury! So what is the freakin' deal people?! Why is it that pure strangers have to ask me the most personal of questions, like they're automatically privy to something that is solely between two people (or one, if you do the Angelina Jolie thing).

Now, I don't have anything against children per se. I babysat for many years and was popular with the rugrats (although most are grown up and hulking 6 feet tall teenagers). I even believe having my own will be within the realm of possibility someday. However, what is in this society that having children is the only thing a woman can accomplish? I can tell someone that I got a college degree, and that one pales in comparison to giving birth to a child. And its not like obtaining the college degree was an easy, overnight process. It was not. And my life, even though I do not have kids, has not been easy. I've had to struggle, and it took a lot of hard work for me to arrive at the the place I'm at today. It seems that having children trivializes everything else that a woman accomplishes. There's nothing wrong with being proud of having children, but there are so many other things to be proud of as well.

I can also feel a rift growing between me and the ones who have children. The impression I get is that I'm this horrible, selfish person for wanting to focus on furthuring myself in my career. It's also terrible that I'm able to save for retirement and pay off debts quickly, since I have more disposable income that doesn't get spent on diapers and Dora the Explorer DVD's. And the spare time that I have to pursue my love of art and literature? Simply inexcusable! I've been made to feel like a monster, simply because I think there's more to life than procreation.

This seems to be a concern more among the women I know. Even if men have children, they seem to remember that they had an identity before they became parents. They can be great parents, but they know that they need to fulfill themselves outside of parenthood. They have goals outside of being a dad. Many women, however, do not. But it's important to keep hobbies and careers. You will not always be a mother. The likelihood of needing or wanting to return to work someday is quite high. Husbands also walk out, lose their jobs or die prematurely. Children move out, and you'll need to pursue something other than parenthood.

Having children is a part of life. But just a part. There are so many other parts, and if I do choose to have my own children, I can assure that those parts will not be neglected.

Writer's Block: Vacation Time

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 23:16:20 GMT

What was your most memorable vacation, and why?

Had to have been when I went to Cozumel, Mexico. No, its not because I didn't argue with my ex-husband for about 3 days (although that is probably very memorable in its own right). First of all, I got to go on a cruise ship. I had never done that before, so it was different. I've been on planes, subways, the Japanese bullet train, even a monorail. But never a boat. That was one thing that made it very memorable.

I also got to go horseback riding on that trip. That was another thing I never done before. I rode a horse through some Mayan ruins as the sun was setting. I don't think there are any words to describe that, although I'm trying to come up with some. It was stunning, to put it mildly. And since I love animals, I fell in love with the horses. Those are great animals. Riding on those was an experience. I also saw some Mayan rituals performed. Normally, I hate history (never been my favorite subject) but it just came alive that night.

I think this vacation is my "happy thought", just like in Peter Pan. I think about it when I need something to lift my spirits (even the best of us need those) or if I'm just bored at work. Someday, maybe I can recreate it, although I don't think it will be the same as it was in January 2004.

Simpson movie

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 22:57:16 GMT

Just saw it and it was something else...highly recommended, although not clean fun for the whole family. I won't spoil for yall, but yes, Bart was indecent for maybe 3 seconds. Marge actually cussed (something I'd never thought I'd see), Lisa falls in love, and there's a whole host of other things. And something does happen at the credits that everyone who watches the show has probably been waiting for since its inception (but I won't tell). All I can say, is the Simpsons rock!